act like a monkey today! because you were never, and will never be, one ("evolution revolution" part 1)

This is part 1 of my "evolution revolution" series of blogs where I will be working diligently to offer substantial evidence to eliminate all potential doubt in your mind that we, humans, evolved from apes.

You don't need to spend this year curious as to whether or not 1.) your "tail bone" once served as the structural root for your, well, monkey tail, or 2). if since last night's Discovery Channel program boasted how we "uprighters" share 98.5% of our DNA with primates, then that means your 1M'th great grandma swung from a tree (how un-lady like!).

First.

Today, when you act like a monkey, and I mean all day, hunch over like an ape, ball your fists, and swing your arms as you lunge along, like an ape, for the next, well, all day.

Let me know how your lower lumbar feel around 8:30pm tonight.

When you're icing your back, or find yourself in HR for "monkeying around" (HA!), ask yourself "why would I resist, or challenge, the natural contours of my spine when all my needs are already met standing up?"

It's the same reason apes didn't "stand up", or intentionally inflict substantial discomfort and pain to themselves through contorting their skeletal structures, including repeatedly activating the same nerve endings you did all day that you both share, and are responsible for transmitting pain signals to your brain.

They had no reason to. All stimuli required for homeostatic function in the ape kingdom can be experienced in an ape's natural skeletal state; he / she can eat, sleep, have sex, urinate, etc. just fine without contorting his / her spine, or any other skeletal system, for that matter.

Look at them today. What can't they reach or see that they need to touch or watch for survival? Nothing.

So, unless you're reading this with a throbbing sensation pulsating in your lower back, you probably decided to not lunge around hunched over all day, simply because you don't need to, and you can bet the same amount of money you put on your favorite NCAA bowl game that today your monkey buddy over in the African safari will not be working on power point standing up either.